Barriers to Divorce #1: Common Fears

Facing Divorce Fears and Moving On

Divorce can be scary, whether you initiate it or are on the other side. Ending a relationship, no matter how bad, brings up anxiety and fears related to a host of issues from what life will look like afterward to not wanting to be the topic of carpool line gossip.

Here are some of the top divorce fears and ways to combat them so you can move forward toward a happy, well-balanced life.

The Unknown Scares Me

Life is full of unknowns and if you are going through divorce, this is one to add to the list. No one can tell you exactly how the process will go or what life will be like afterward. The key is to keep this fear from immobilizing you. Educate yourself as much as possible and seek help when needed.

Learn about the divorce process. You can use a mediator, go to court, hire an arbitrator, or try a collaborative divorce. Start by researching the pros and cons of the various methods. Deciphering the process will help build your confidence in moving forward.

All methods will require you to have detailed information about your marital assets from the house and cars to bank accounts and other investments, so include investigating your finances as part of the education process.

If fear of the unknown is paralyzing, consider speaking to a therapist about overcoming your fears. Also, interview attorneys to learn about their practices, processes, and styles.

I’ll Be Alone Again

The fear of being alone is called autophobia or monophobia. It’s quite common. One in three adults fear being alone, according to a 2014 joint AOL and Today Show survey. Forty percent of female respondents admitted to this fear. It’s quite natural throughout the divorce process.

Instead of looking at divorce as a process that will leave you alone, look at it as a time for rediscovering yourself – you as you, not as someone’s spouse. You were on your own before your marriage, and had your own interests and passions outside of your spouse. Rediscover those and add new ones to the list.

Try new things. Consider saying ‘yes’ to everything for a short period of time, from the socially distanced cocktail hour to the Zoom work reunion to the group pickleball lesson at your club. Trying new things and discovering what you like will help alleviate feelings of loneliness and help you adjust to a satisfying life post-divorce.

What if I End Up Financially Worse Off? 

Financial fears are valid. If you have been staying home, you might be worried about going back to work. Or you might be worried about the impact on your lifestyle as a one-income household. Here’s where educating yourself in advance is once again important. Speak with a financial advisor before starting the divorce process to determine what you will need to maintain your current lifestyle. Set a potential budget. Estimate how the assets might be fairly split. Also, investigate the cost of each type of divorce and consider which fits best into your plan.

I Don’t Want to Be the Topic of Gossip

Sadly, gossip is part of human nature and divorce often a juicy tidbit. Many find dealing with gossip head on is the best tactic. In the workplace, share the news of your split with your employer and coworkers. Being upfront and honest about your situation will help others in dealing with you and cut down on gossip. Don’t, however, get into the bitter details. 

Using the same approach with friends and family also works best. Confront gossipers and don’t be afraid to tell them the truth, without too much detail, or that you don’t appreciate being carpool fodder. Watch your social media posts, which often can be the beginning of rumors.

Our Divorce Attorneys Can Help Alleviate Your Fears

Divorce is challenging but with Alexandra Geczi PLLC you are not alone. Our attorneys are here to help you discreetly navigate the process and protect your interests, so that you can move forward into a bright, bold future. Contact us today at 214-974-4449 for a free case evaluation.

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