Is Cybersex cheating?


As family law attorneys, we get asked if Cybersex is a form of cheating in a Texas divorce. From a societal perspective, there is no clear-cut answer. The definition of cheating can vary depending on personal beliefs, values, and the boundaries established within a relationship. Cybersex, which involves engaging in sexual activities or exchanges online, can be considered a form of infidelity by some people, while others may not see it as such. Which is why there is confusion when it comes to divorce law in Texas.

In general, the concept of cheating revolves around breaking the trust and commitment agreed upon within a relationship. If engaging in cybersex goes against the established boundaries or agreements between partners, and it causes emotional harm or a breach of trust, then some may consider it cheating. Open and honest communication between partners is crucial to establish clear expectations and boundaries regarding fidelity, including what constitutes cheating. It’s important for individuals and couples to have discussions about their views on fidelity and reach a mutual understanding that respects the needs and values of both partners.

In contrast to the somewhat subjective societal views on cybersex, family courts in Texas will typically not consider cybersex to be a form of infidelity and, therefore, a fault ground for divorce. Texas Family Code section 6.003 defines “adultery” as the voluntary sexual intercourse of a married person with another person who is not the spouse. Additionally, the spouse cheated on must prove adultery for Texas courts to recognize it. And while fault grounds like infidelity may affect the division of property and spousal support determinations in some cases, different courts are likely to make different determinations. That’s why it’s important to seek legal counsel if you are considering leaving your spouse because of cybersex issues.


What is cybersex?


Cybersex refers to sexual activities or interactions that take place over the internet. It can encompass a wide range of activities, depending on the preferences and comfort levels of the individuals involved. Here are some different kinds of cybersex:

  • Text-based cybersex: This involves engaging in sexually explicit conversations or role-playing through text messages, chat rooms, or instant messaging platforms.
  • Video chat: This type of cybersex involves using webcams or video chat platforms to engage in sexual activities while being able to see and hear each other in real-time.
  • Virtual reality (VR) cybersex: With the advancement of virtual reality technology, some people engage in cybersex within virtual reality environments, where they can use avatars to interact with each other in a simulated setting.
  • Cybersex through online platforms: There are various websites, forums, or platforms specifically designed for individuals to connect and engage in cybersex, either through text, audio, or video.
  • Sexting: Sexting involves sending sexually explicit messages, photos, or videos through messaging apps or social media platforms.
  • Erotic audio: This type of cybersex involves sharing or listening to sexually explicit audio recordings, such as erotic stories or role-playing scenarios.

It’s important to note that engaging in cybersex should always be consensual and involve adults who are of legal age. It’s crucial to respect boundaries, privacy, and the comfort levels of all parties involved.


How common is cybersex as a form of cheating?


Determining the exact frequency of marriages ending specifically due to cybersex can be challenging, as it largely depends on individual circumstances and the reasons behind relationship breakdowns. However, it’s important to note that cybersex or online infidelity can be a contributing factor in some cases. With the increasing availability and anonymity of online platforms, cybersex has become more accessible to individuals who may engage in it without their partner’s knowledge. The secretive and intimate nature of cybersex can lead to feelings of betrayal and breach of trust within a marriage or committed relationship.

While there is no comprehensive data on the exact prevalence of marriages ending due to cybersex, studies have shown that online infidelity can be a significant contributor to marital dissatisfaction and relationship breakdown. Research suggests that online affairs, which may involve cybersex, emotional connections, or a combination of both, can be as damaging to a relationship as offline infidelity.

It’s worth noting that the impact of cybersex on a marriage can vary depending on various factors, such as the extent of involvement, emotional connection, individual values, and the couple’s ability to rebuild trust. Every relationship is unique, and the consequences of cybersex can vary greatly from case to case.

Ultimately, open communication, trust, and commitment to addressing relationship challenges are crucial in maintaining a healthy and fulfilling marriage. If cybersex or any form of infidelity becomes an issue, seeking professional help from couples’ therapy or marriage counseling can be beneficial in working through the challenges and rebuilding the relationship.


Is Cybersex grounds for divorce in Texas?     


In Texas, the grounds for divorce are typically categorized as either “no-fault” or “fault” grounds. No-fault grounds do not require proving wrongdoing by either spouse and are more commonly used. Fault grounds, on the other hand, involve proving misconduct or fault by one spouse.

Infidelity, including engaging sexual intercourse outside the marriage, can be considered a fault ground for divorce in Texas. A fault ground for divorce refers to a specific reason or cause that is considered by the court as a valid basis for granting a divorce. While Texas is predominantly a no-fault divorce state, meaning that couples can get divorced without having to prove any wrongdoing, there are still fault grounds available under certain circumstances.

The fault grounds for divorce in Texas include:

    1. Cruelty: If one spouse has been cruel to the other, making living together insupportable, it can be considered a fault ground for divorce. Cruelty can include physical or emotional abuse.
    2. Adultery: If one spouse engages in extramarital affairs, it can be cited as a fault ground for divorce.
    3. Conviction of a felony: If one spouse has been convicted of a felony and has been imprisoned for at least one year, it can be a fault ground for divorce. The conviction must have occurred after the marriage took place.
    4. Abandonment: If one spouse has left the other without a justifiable reason and without the intention of returning, it can be considered a fault ground for divorce.
    5. Living apart: If the spouses have lived separately without cohabitation for at least three years, it can be a fault ground for divorce.

It’s worth noting that fault grounds may affect the division of property and spousal support determinations in some cases. However, Texas also recognizes no-fault grounds, where couples can obtain a divorce without proving any specific fault. No-fault divorce is typically based on the grounds of insupportability, which means there are irreconcilable differences that have led to the breakdown of the marriage.

If you are considering divorce or have specific legal questions, it’s always advisable to consult with a qualified family law attorney who can provide you with accurate and up-to-date information based on your individual circumstances.


Should I leave my spouse over their cybersex issues?


Deciding when to leave a partner is a complex and personal decision that depends on various factors. Cybersex issues can be a sensitive and challenging topic within a relationship, and different individuals may have different boundaries and values. Here are a few considerations to help you evaluate the situation:

    • Open communication: Have you openly discussed your concerns and feelings about the cybersex issues with your partner? Honest and respectful communication is crucial in addressing relationship problems. It’s important to express your concerns and listen to your partner’s perspective.
    • Mutual understanding and respect: Consider whether your partner understands the impact their cybersex activities have on you and your relationship. Are they willing to respect your boundaries and work towards a compromise that makes both of you comfortable?
    • Relationship values and boundaries: Reflect on your own values and relationship expectations. Different people have varying levels of comfort with cybersex and different boundaries regarding fidelity and emotional connection. It’s essential to assess whether your partner’s actions align with your values and whether their behavior breaches the agreed-upon boundaries of your relationship.
    • Repeated violations and lack of trust: If your partner repeatedly engages in cybersex despite knowing it hurts you and your relationship, it may indicate a lack of respect, trust, and commitment. Trust is a foundation of a healthy relationship, and repeated violations can erode that trust over time. Your partner may also suffer from mental health or addiction issues that drive the violations. Having a discussion about how to help your partner with these issues may also be helpful.
    • Emotional and mental well-being: Consider the impact of the cybersex issues on your emotional and mental well-being. If you find yourself constantly feeling hurt, betrayed, or emotionally distressed, it may be a sign that the relationship is negatively affecting your overall happiness and health.
    • Illegal activity: If your spouse is engaging in illegal cybersex activity, and you became aware of such activity, you may be liable for criminal violations as well. If you learn of illegal online activity, you should consult with an attorney immediately.

Ultimately, the decision to leave a partner for cybersex issues is a personal one. It’s important to assess the specific circumstances of your relationship and prioritize your emotional well-being. Seeking guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor can provide valuable insights and support as you navigate these challenges.


When should I consult with an attorney regarding my spouse’s cybersex cheating?


If you believe that your spouse’s cybersex issues are causing significant problems within your relationship or are affecting your well-being, it may be beneficial to consult with an attorney. An attorney can provide advice on how to protect your interests and navigate any legal implications that may arise from the situation.

Here are a few reasons why you might consider consulting an attorney:

  • Legal guidance: An attorney can help you understand your rights and options in relation to your spouse’s cybersex issues. They can provide advice on how to address the situation legally and protect your interests.
  • Privacy and security concerns: If your spouse’s cybersex activities involve illegal or harmful behavior, consulting an attorney can help you understand the steps you can take to protect your privacy and security.
  • Divorce or separation: If you are considering divorce or separation as a result of your spouse’s cybersex issues, an attorney can provide guidance throughout the process. They can help you navigate the legal aspects, such as property division, child custody, and spousal support.

Remember, consulting an attorney doesn’t necessarily mean you have to pursue legal action. It’s an opportunity to seek professional advice and explore your options. You may also consider seeking support from a licensed therapist or counselor to address the emotional aspects of the situation. They can provide guidance and help you navigate the challenges that arise from your spouse’s cybersex issues.

It’s important to consult with a qualified attorney who specializes in family law or the specific area of concern related to your spouse’s cybersex issues. They will be able to provide personalized advice based on your circumstances and the relevant laws in your jurisdiction.




If you have questions about how to deal with your spouse’s cybersex issues, contact us at Alexandra Geczi, PLLC today.

We represent women in divorce and understand the issues facing women who are contemplating or going through a divorce in Texas. Our law firm is owned and operated by women and focuses on divorce for women in DallasCollinDenton, and Tarrant counties. Our female attorneys have helped hundreds of women turn the page on difficult marriages and move on to a wonderful new chapter in their lives. Our attorneys have over 15 years of experience exclusively handling divorce and family law cases.

We apply a collaborative approach to our cases in which we try to work with your spouse’s attorney to avoid lengthy court battles opting instead to settle cases out of court through negotiation, mediation, or collaborative law.

Contact us if you want to learn more or visit us on our website