What is one of the important issues you address in marriage counseling?
The key to personal growth both within ourselves and within our marriage is the ability to be accountable in our relationship (both with self and others). In our culture we have too often seen the pattern of focusing on the other person and being reactive to how they behave.
Successful marriage counseling begins with both partners looking within themselves. We often see how someone’s family history is impacting how they treat us. We usually see the connection before they do. We need to take this skill set and put it back on ourselves. Why did I react that way? Why is that such a big issue to me? We are very adept at seeing where the other has crossed our boundary and we are happy to point out the violation. But until we can back up and see our part in the dance, we will not be in a position to help move the relationship forward.
The fear, of course, is that I will take the time and effort to learn to be accountable but the other may not change. The good news is that in this process, when we change ourselves, the dance DOES change and the other will have to change how they dance as well. The dance may not end up going the way we want it to, but we will get clarity on what is truly going on in the dance and we will be better equipped to make a decision on whether to keep dancing or not.
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Rev. Daniel Gowan, LPC-S, LCDC, CSAT
Co-Founder D2 Counseling
Rev. Daniel Gowan
I began my counseling career in ministry and use this background to integrate spiritual principles into helping clients gain a deeper understanding of themselves, their partner and other important people in their lives. I offer private counseling to individuals, couples, families and groups.
I have a Master of Arts in Counseling from Amberton University and a Master of Divinity from Perkins School of Theology at Southern Methodist University. I am credentialed as an LCDC (Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor) and LPC-S (Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor). Both of these credentials are licenses from the State of Texas. In addition, I am a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT-C) and trained in Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR).